I spent some time with a client last week who talked of his fears for the future of his business, how he was afraid of what others might think of him if his business collapsed and, as a result, how he feared for his marriage too. Although he believed his problems to be unique (don’t we all), the conversation reminded me of many that I have had over the years. It reminded me of all the media stories – that “markets are gripped by fear”, people are “fearful for their jobs” and that people are “afraid they will lose their homes”. At times like this, perhaps it’s more than Personal Development that we need!

Of course, all these problems are, indeed, real problems. However, just how real are they? The author, Susan Jeffers has, for many years now, suggested that you “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!” However, you must realize that fear is not real. Fear, similar to, is in the mind of the beholder! In fact, fear is nothing more than a useless thought. Such useless thoughts disable us from taking action – so that we wind up reacting and making matters worse.

Some time ago, during one of my Self Improvement Workshops, one of my now longstanding clients took exception to my saying that I simply couldn’t understand his statement that “after my Dad’s business failed, we had to sell our house and move into a rented flat. We couldn’t even afford heating oil that winter and we were all freezing and I was so upset that we were all freezing”. In a recent conversation with the same guy, he understood what I had been saying. Sure, he was freezing – a statement of fact. But acknowledging the fact and then feeling sorry for yourself, wallowing in it, victim-like, are two completely different things. The victim mindset disables your ability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and do your very best.

Again, clients have said to me that it’s all very well for me to point out the fact that we shouldn’t react to bad things happening, we shouldn’t be afraid of what might happen or shouldn’t fear the consequences of actions we really need to take – after all, I’m sitting high up in the French Alps enjoying life. When I point out to them that I’ve been there – with a wife and three young children and $18.58 left in the bank (after we’d been done over by some unscrupulous “investors”) they take my point. What is the point in feeling sorry for yourself, what is the point of being afraid? What is the point of being paralysed by fear?

You’ve surrendered control if you’ve succumbed to fear. Your mind is controlling you. Eighty years of research proves that, when we allow our minds to control us, we are unable to pay attention to the reality of the moment, unable to notice the potential for opportunity and completely unable to take real action. Research also points out that the average adult has 50,000 random thoughts each day, many of them useless, some of them, like “fear”, toxic.

Calm your mind. Come to your senses – you have five of them, use them to understand and experience what’s going on and how you can best act to create the kind of success and happiness that you want. This is not some kind of positive mental attitude nonsense that I’m peddling. The research that I’ve already mentioned has proved that our subconscious minds create our version of so-called “reality”. Harness your subconscious mind – so that you can take real action and completely change your life.