Have you ever come across anyone who is 100% happy with their lot in life to the extent that they don’t want to change a single thing. Of course, there’s loads of surveys and research that confirm that most people express unhappiness in their work, their money situation, their weight problem, their fitness or the quality of their personal lives – or every single one of the above!! Basically, normal people are normally dissatisfied. Little wonder that most people find my self help website by Googling Change Your Life.

But it’s not that easy to change your life – is it? Because most of us, whilst being dissatisfied are also afraid of change. So, if this sounds like you, you’re kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place! The problem is, first of all, that people are afraid of the unknown – even if it’s the great unknown that they dream of! And, through painful experience, they also know that, when they’ve attempted major changes in the past, they’ve failed to stick to their guns.

I’m sitting writing this post on February 15th – and by now, research confirms, over 90% of people will have given up on their New Year’s Resolutions! And there’s just so many studies that prove just how hard we normal people find it to change. Did you know, for example, that the average membership of a gym is three months – and in those three months the average new recruit visits, on average twice! Not going to get fit that way!

Now, I haven’t set out to make you even more disillusioned or to tell you that you cannot change your life. I make my living from helping my clients change their lives. They all ask me how I took such a huge risk when I moved from my native Ireland – with my wife and three teenage children – to the French Alps. They always get the same response – it was the obvious move to make because so many small things had changed in the lead up to what other people perceive as a major change. It wasn’t, it was simply the logical next step.

You see, you change your life by changing little things. That way, your fearful mind – and the normal mind simply loves things to stay the way they were when you were a child – becomes familiar with change. Little by little you completely deconstruct all the things that you want to change about your life and you become so used to change that the things that you want to happen simply happen as that logical next step.

OK, that sounds all very well but how will you start? Start really small – like eat something different for breakfast this morning – or actually have breakfast! Take a different train or bus. Talk to a stranger. Swap the knife and fork in your hands at your next meal. Mix it up – because your mind’s mixed up already – and out of that mix up will come the clarity of purpose you’ve always been looking for.

It’s within your power change your life – and only you can do it. It’s not important what’s taking place day to day, what obstacles you meet in life, what problems you think you have. All the ups and downs of life are simply that – everything that goes up must come down and vice versa. And all our highs and lows pass – one way or another. There is but one constant in life. And that is who we can be – not who we think we are, which is an entirely different and misconceived thing altogether.

But the average mind doesn’t know who they really are or the heights to which they could rise. And if I told you to focus your mind, you wouldn’t know how. The average mind is weighed down by its own destructive thoughts and the synchronized thoughts of herd-like behaviour. But even the whole herd can break free – look at how normal people in countries with oppressive regimes like Tunisia, Jordan and Egypt are rewriting the political map of the Middle East. Again, remember the way ordinary people dismantled the Berlin Wall. If the apparently immovable objects of entrenched regimes can collapse so easily, then how much more easy can it be for your own misconceptions about yourself and about your life to evaporate into thin air.

After all, the only place that your misconceptions about your capabilities and the type of life you could have are in your own mind. Sure, they appear to be real enough, they may create concrete results, for the worse, in your everyday life – but they are, nevertheless, the creation of your own conditioned mind. Psychology confirms that we are conditioned during our childhood by the people and events that make the biggest impression upon us. It is a psychological fact that you and I are predisposed to thinking the worst about ourselves. All this conditioning or programming, which swirls in our subconscious, creates our behaviour, how we react and, consequently, what others think of us, do for us or to us. Our thoughts create our lives.

With that in mind, isn’t it obvious that, if you could change your thoughts, you would change your life? The whole structure of your apparent life would collapse as surely and convincingly as the Berlin Wall. And a new life would begin. But – and it’s a big but – it’s not as easy as it sounds. The Berlin Wall was only sitting on concrete foundations – the foundations of your life are far more subtly set in your subconscious. So, rather than trying to dismantle the web of thoughts that ties you down, it is far better, far more effective, if you simply ignore their unreality by tuning your focus to real reality – the reality of the present moment.

Freedom from all your fears, doubts and worries is discovered by focusing your mind on what you are truly seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting in the present moment. Understand that, learn how to do it and your life will changed beyond all recognition.

“Two men look out thru the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars.”- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

If you have placed 2nd in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for more satisfying results the next time or will you be deterred and find an excuse not to join again?

In life, you are always stuffed with choices. You’ll decide to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you will decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and satisfying life.

So why think positive? And why start thinking positive now?

Well, brightness has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, army, occupational and political success; to popularity; to excellent health and even to long life and liberty from stress.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It is affecting middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to fifteen. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder ‘ too.

Here is how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it actually pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best.

The definitive characteristic of pessimists is they have a tendency to believe bad events, which will last a long while and enfeeble everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are faced up to with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is how they explain their misfortune—it’s the opposite way. They have a tendency to believe defeat is just a brief problem, that its causes are restricted to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem ‘ to hand. They use ‘positive reinterpretation. ‘ In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such folk are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They will not say ‘things will never get better, ‘ ‘If I failed once, it will occur again ‘ and ‘If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life. ‘

Positive expectancies of optimists also envision better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and not likely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities rather than obstacles.

People respond certainly to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less conditional on others for their contentment. They find no need to control or control other people. They generally draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the planet can be infective and influence those they’re with.

Optimism appears a socially fascinating characteristic in all communities. Those that share brightness are sometimes accepted while those that spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these folks often win elections ; get voted most good-natured and sought for advice.

When things get tough, optimists get harder

Optimists typically maintain higher degrees of subjective contentment in periods of stress than do people who are less optimistic. By contrast, pessimists are probably going to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with issues. Pessimists are much more likely to give up trying when problems arise .

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they’re also famous for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live for longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook could cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight illness.

Optimists’ health is abnormally good. They age well, much freer than most of the people from the common physical difficulties of middle age. And they get to outlive those susceptible to self-destructive thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a satisfied life.

Why not look forward to pre-eminence in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everyone else you are sure to hit lows often but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your odds of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to get rid of their dark-colored glasses and see life in the brighter side?

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